Waking up to Sufjan Steven’s Visions of Gideon

Strange as it seems, but I woke up in the most unusual way possible – at least in my personal experience. Not entirely surprising, but unusual nonetheless.

I woke up to the sound of the song ‘Visions of Gideon.’

Truth is, there was no music at all. Just silence. And for a moment, I felt like I’ve woken up to the most comfortable feeling I’ve had in a while.

Well-rested. No stress. Peace of mind.

This random song may not be entirely random considering how I’ve been thinking about it ever since I finished watching Call Me by Your Name. It’s simple yet meaningful. The lyrics, in fact, is very repetitive throughout that there’s nothing much to memorize if you want to. Yet the meaning doesn’t exactly come as easy.

Visions of Gideon.

I’ll probably take another time to delve deeper on this but for now, I’d just want to share how strangely meaningful it felt. The tune, to top it all off, has this ‘haunting’ touch on it which has the tendency to run in loops. In my head. It’s something I’d listen to when I’m confused, nostalgic, or just feeling that strange longing for someone – something which has long been set aside but not forgotten.

Calming. Soothing. Beautiful.

 

UPDATE: Blogging with Samsung Galaxy Tab A 10.1″ 2019

I have been on hiatus in the blogging arena for quite a while and I have just decided to stop giving excuses.

It’s not about a lack of time, as I have always reasoned to myself. I can make time if if I want to but I haven’t. And so I decided that perhaps a bit of portability in this area would help.

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A fine purchase, I should say. A mid-range tablet upgrade from its 2016 predecessor. So far, so good.

Productivity can be a mindset, so let’s see how well I do this time.

Ja!

‘How to Start’ when you don’t know where to begin?

I don’t seek to provide answers since I, in the first place, am struggling with the same issue.

How do you start on something when you don’t know where to begin?

Common suggestions include:

  • reading books on your subject of interest
  • talk to ‘authority’ people
  • take classes (online or classroom setup)
  • then you can always go for the DIY step where you learn/unlearn things at your own pace

But a fact is, not all these will work on everybody. Some might. Others will do well in combination and there are times when they just don’t.

Any thoughts? Any personal suggestion?

 

 

Letter: To the ‘Me’ in the Future

Do know that whatever you are now is the product of the decisions you made. Always remember that.

There is no blaming anyone or anything for what you have become. There is only you. It is my hope that you are now living a life that I’m dreaming of right now.

Of course, we are one. But you should have learned better now. I expect you to have wisdom – discernment. I hope for the best so I will do my part to help you. But in case I fail, I hope you do forgive me and move on.

Do not let my failures drag you. I will fight and you should too. Look ahead.

Perhaps I will not have the right to be saying all these things but that is how it should be. Live. Continue fighting.

As what the Cassiopeian bloodline always say: Always Keep the Faith.’

On Sensitivity

I’ve read somewhere how solitude can be dangerous as it can feel comfortable to the point that you stop wanting to deal with people.

Dealing with people, to be honest, can be tiring. It requires a certain amount of energy enough to handle a conversation. Most especially if you don’t like them.

That brings the question, what irks you in a person?

Me? I don’t like insensitive personalities. I’m bothered by individuals who act as though they’re the only people around – all the while ignoring what other people think.

Of course, minding others is a choice. But sensitivity is a basic courtesy. If one doesn’t care about what people think, then fine. But couldn’t one at least have the decency to feel for others?

Then again, not all share the same opinion. Not everyone has similar views on things. I’m might just be too sensitive. And I have troubles dealing with rude, insensitive personalities.

I’m no hypocrite. So don’t go telling me how I should play nice. At some point, cutting off connections and closing doors are all part of growing up.

Learning Endurance Requires Endurance

Endurance can be tricky.

At times you think you are doing well only to find out how you are not really making significant progress.

The more one thinks about endurance the more challenging it feels.

I don’t consider myself well-trained when it comes to endurance, and there is a good chance that when a real test comes I won’t be able to hold my ground that well. And yet the idea itself calls for more motivation to do better. Next time.

We’ll never know when next time comes.

And I guess there is no use worrying about that.

We do what we do in the current situation we have.

Our limited lifespan.

On Blogging

It first came as an interest powered by curiosity.

The idea of blogging was an attraction – it made me feel in control as much as I’m responsible. 

Every time I put out a post, I feel the need to ensure it has the message I want to share. English isn’t my first language, and I’m not an English major too, so starting a blog using the language was a challenge.

But I am able to communicate, nonetheless.

As months pass by, blogging has become more than an interest. It became a routine, a habit. Then at some point a form of therapy for some intense emotional and mental issues I had to deal with.

Blogging then can be a wonderful past time. But I do it for it heals. And I learn more along the way.